Impermanence -Roxie

IMPERMANENCE

I live on the Gulf Coast of Texas right in the bend before it straightens out and meanders down to Mexico. The people are small town friendly and it has been a real eye opener for someone who moved from the capital of Texas, Austin, where the traffic is heavy and the people aren’t as friendly as they once were. I like the friendliness in Rockport. And I like the size of the town. Running errands here as compared to Austin still gives me a thrill. I can do in an hour what used to take me three in Austin. Nice.

Our home is beautiful – truly it is. We moved down here and built our “dream” home and a dream it is. I pinch myself sometimes just to make sure I’m awake. Every day I walk over to the back window and look at the bay view and thank the stars, God, my guardian angels, and whoever will listen, for my blessings.

I just have one problem living here – hurricanes. Did you know that hurricane season is six months long? From May 1 to October 31. I didn’t realize that before we moved lock, stock and barrel down here. What a dummy not to have done that kind of research before moving to a coastal town, huh? That’s me – jump in and just do it before thinking it through! Will I ever learn? Probably not.

We go to Big Sky, Montana for the most active hurricane months, August and September. We pack up the things we just simply don’t want to lose, art and photos, things like that, and take them to a climate controlled storage facility in Austin where they don’t have hurricanes (probably the most endearing thing to me about Austin at this point). We put hurricane shutters up, bring in the outdoor furniture, we actually pretend a hurricane is imminent and make the place as wind and water proof as we possibly can.

I am packing things today and I had to tell you how I feel. It’s heart wrenching. The impermanence of things is inevitable. A true lesson in Zen Buddhism is that attachment to things is bad. How do we not do it? As I walk around my living room I pick up a vase or a trinket that really didn’t cost very much but it’s been around for so many years – should I pack it? Is it replaceable? Is that photo somewhere digitally so I can recreate it? What about that cute frame it’s in – should I just wrap it all up and put it in the box? Some things are obvious and we already have boxes labeled and with bubble wrap in them to just wrap up and take to Austin. It’s those little things that make up a lifetime that are hard for me. It’s the structure of our home, all the time consuming choices we made that make up so much more than just a house, the tile, Zodiac counters, the color of the walls, the custom made cabinets, even the plumbing fixtures and lighting - all of these things could vanish while we are away. What would I do? Would we rebuild? Could I go through that again? It was a year and a half of grueling torture – that’s what it was.

Impermanence – nothing lasts forever – not concrete, not stucco, not those pieces of paper with so many loved ones' faces imprinted, nothing – not even our own bodies last forever. Impermanence is the only thing that lasts.